A Tale of Two Movies....


I've seen two movies in the past week. One was good and one sucked...that's the quick breakdown for you. So one week ago today, I went to see No Country for Old Men. Basically what I got out of the movie is that life sucks, you think it's getting worse and long for the less complicated life of your parents, but wait...things sucked then too. Things suck, things have always sucked, things are always gonna suck.... That and some interesting methods of murder are the basic premise is of the movie. I just saved you ten bucks.

The other movie I saw is I Am Legend. Things still suck and ultimately that's what this movie wants you to know also....but it's how that story is told that makes this movie the better choice for me. You see, I am old fashion and I expect a movie to have a beginning and a end, and then somewhere about 3/4's of the way through, I'd like my climax. I am just simple like that.

So I will just go ahead and tell you that my work spouse loved the old men movie. Since we saw the movie he reminds me every day how it is nominated for this, and got a positive review from that person.... Listen, I am a Coen brothers fan.....from all the way back to Raising Arizona....

but check it, they are hit or miss....The Hudsucker Proxey, Fargo, O Brother Where Art Thou, The Big Lebowski.....there were a string of hits right there at the end of the 90's when these guys were exploding!! I am not so sure they haven't burnt out though. I think maybe they are desperate and have gone off into some whack bullshit these days. "But Shy....the movie is so deep....it's genius!!!!"

Listen, It used to be cool to paint people and things in the most realistic way possible. That was talent....that's what it meant to be a genius. But with advancements in photography anyone could have a perfect picture....for it to be art, it had to be reinterpreted.... art moved into impressionism where the almost scientific focus on the effect of light and movement on an object was what made it genius. Later you had mysticism in art, then expressionism where often the subject was distorted, later cubism where an object was painted like it was shards of broken glass...all these things were genius...I will give you that, but at some point.... and I realize I am probably cynical here....but at some point every thing that could be said had been said and I think we are still waiting for something new...something genius.....and you can't just paint a red block on a white canvas and ask me to find it avant-garde.

You can't just chop the ending off the movie, take out all the music, and murder a bunch of people and ask me to find it avant-garde either. The movie told a story, it wasn't all bad (Laura's cousin was in it...)...it just wasn't the best work of the year and the fact that it was hard to follow and understand doesn't make it so in my mind.

I Am Legend has it's own sorta genius as a social commentary on the Iraq war. I heard one review that sorta describes it like this...Western medicine takes a virus (a bad thing) and manipulates it so that it can fight cancer (a worse thing) which is sort of like Western military forces arming jihadists (which they regard as a bad thing) so that they'll fight communists (which they regard as a worse thing)....then the bad thing mutates into a much much worse thing that turns on it's creator, sound familiar?.....and where does all this happen? In a place that becomes identified as GROUND ZERO....you guessed it, New York. And even if you attack this thing you have created, they just keep coming....and everyone they come in contact with is either converted to one of them or killed. And the only solution is to shoot them dead — or withdraw behind metal walls, into a fortress-like homeland.



(for those not in the know)

Cooper wants to play....

I don't make any secret about how much I would love to have one of these of my own, but until that day comes....if that day comes.... I sure enjoy moments like this =)

Black Friday....

We have a tradition in my family (much like eating at Waffle house on Christmas, but that's another blog) that the day after Thanksgiving we pick out a place and do the whole Black Friday early morning shopping thing.  This has typically consisted of going to Staples at about 4:30 in the morning to get memory cards, hard drives, monitors...whatever kinda geeky stuff you can get cheap by being the 6th person in line.

We ramped up our efforts last year...we actually did a recon on the store the Wed night before Thanksgiving to find out where items would be placed on Friday.  We hide some of the sale items in the store so that we'd be assured of getting at least that and we made maps of the store layout so that we could discuss strategy.  I thought that was pretty hardcore....that was before this year....

This year we set our sites on Walmart.  I had seen the ads in years before at Walmart, but never once tried to brave it.  In fact, Walmart is right across from the Staples we go to in Guntersville, Alabama so I have seen the parking lot on black Friday and it was intimidating to say the least.  By about 5am, you can't get a car into Walmart's parking lot, let alone get in the store.  The whole "Open 24/7" think always sorta confused me as far as doing black Friday at Walmart goes, so I just stayed away, again....that was before this year....

The prize this year was a $388 HP laptop.  The DV6000 is not the best laptop you can get, but it's down right decent for 388 dollars.  The Laptop itself is about a 800 - 1000 machine and what walmart was selling was a bundle that came with a laptop case, sub woofer and speakers, wireless laser mouse, and remote control.  We thought that made it a pretty good deal, but how to get one??


We were in the store around 10pm Thanksgiving night and chatted up an employee in the electronics section that told us that there were 5 laptops, two were HP's, the other three were Toshiba's.  We went home for supplies (coffee, sugar, alcohol) and made the decision that we would go right back to Walmart and wait all night for these laptops.  We were smart about it....we went right to the electronics section, grabbed up some chairs from the camping section and settled in to spend the night at Walmart.  We were the only people there. 


Us and the folks stocking the floor.  Sometime before midnight, they came around and roped off the isles so that they could guard the morning blitz items.  We were already in the electronics with no way in or out other than the main isle, so we got roped into this section.  It was a long night....between about 1:30 and 3am there was a lull and my mother attempted a rollback of her own to get some sleep.


The rest of us just snacked and waited it out....



Starting around 3am people started showing up for the morning sale.  They couldn't get over to our area so they lined up on the other side of the isle facing us....staring at us.....buggies in hand....just looking across that vast isle wondering WTF did those people do to get over there.  By about 4am that line of people was 20 deep...just buggy, after buggy, after buggy....tired faces....angry mob. All the employees knew we were there for the laptops and they were trying to keep us informed. By about 4:45am none of the sale laptops could be found.  I worked with your assistant manager Rachel who offered me some crappy walmart brand laptops as a substitute "see, it has an 80 gig hard drive..." she said.   "And a Freakin' Intel Celeron!!!!!  I want my dual core processor!!!!!" I replied.  Next she offered a rain check for one laptop.   "There are two of us buying laptops.....we've been here ALL night!!!!.....can you get a manager??"  The manager came and offered to sell us a comparable Compaq machine that they found, but only one....cause the ad clearly stated that each store would have a minimum of ONE $388 dollar laptop.  "But there are five!!!!  We talked to a lady last night....she even knew what kind you had and how many of each.....We need TWO laptops to make this right".   We agreed to buy the one laptop and the manager left.  They rang it up...the angry mob was streaming....not only were we in the electronics section and they couldn't get to it, but it wasn't even 5am yet and they were ringing up our items....   Death threats could be heard from across the divide."YOU BETTER BE CAREFUL GOING TO YOUR CAR!!!"   "WHY DO THEY JUST GET TO BUY ALL THE STUFF THEY WANT ALREADY?"   Rachel shouted "THEY'VE BEEN HERE ALLL NIGHT"  "WE'VE BEEN HERE ALL NIGHT TOO!!!!"   (no...they had not...I would have seen them).  Now it's just minutes to 5am and the angry blitz crowd is very agitated.  From the back of the store I see the manager running towards us.  "WE FOUND THE LAPTOP!!!!  YOU CAN BUY THE LAPTOPS!!!!"    They put them behind the counter....   "WHAT DO YOU NEED?  YOU NEED TWO???   OKAY....THESE TWO ARE YOURS.."   "RACHEL...THESE TWO BELONG TO THEM....YOU CAN'T RING THEM UP UNTIL 5AM.


We did the return on the Compaq and the 5am blitz started.  I needed to buy a $398 Compaq desktop also and they were about 6 feet from where I was standing.  My dad held my place in line and paid for his laptop as the blitz was announced.  I ran the 6 feet and grabbed the Compaq and when I turned around there was a SEA of people between me and the register....already in 45 seconds there were over 100 people in line and my dad was stalling for time for me to get back with the PC. As I fought my way back to the register a 19" LCD television came flying over my head.  I think someone was throwing it to a person in line.  I don't know really....it could have been aimed at me. The crowd was screaming at us....  We got our items and we were leaving.   Thank God we got lost in the crowd on the way out of the store, because I do believe someone might have tried to kill us....

Yesterday and before that....

I've been lazy about posting blogs lately. I do have a lot to tell you about and I guess I will try to get it all in quick.
Shortly after we got back from Denver, I had to go to Chicago for work and I had a ton of things to say about that experience, but just to hit the highlights....

Had a really good Chicago dog...

Yeah....those are cucumbers...

Had one of the best pizzas I have ever eaten in my life...

It's thick....and the cheese is somewhere melted around on the inside. Awesome stuff... Quick side story....most people will go to Giordano's for pizza in Chicago and I was all set to do just that, but then my friendly hotel bartender told me that Pizzeria Uno is acutally the original Chicago Pizza and that they used to keep their sauce recipe under lock and key, but one particular lady that made it all the time and probably new it very well was hired by a certain Giordano family for a truck load of cash so that they could start a pizza place...he went on to tell me that even though Pizzeria Uno is a chain, buying it at the original place means you will get actual authentic Chicago style pizza. I did just that....


Had corn at a mexican place with mayonaise and cheese on it....

Bizzare, but really....is it wrong to put mayonaise on anything?

I saw the Hancock from the top of the Sears tower...


I had seven dollar beers at the top of the Hancock and saw the Sears...



Used my pictures from the top of both buildings and walked for miles until I found the two story McDonalds...


More beers....


Found the Cheeburger Cheeburger place.....

what a let down......back to McDonalds....

Oh....and there was this giant Bean thing......

that was cool...

Last night we went to the Lake Harding-poloosa.... here's a highlight for you.







She was better than the band actually.

Beer is yummy....

....to quote a friend.

Laura and I are in Denver Colorado for the AIGA conference and as luck would have it, the Great American Beer Festival happens to be going on this week in Denver also. So while Laura was learning how to tap into her inner creative child yesterday, I was standing in line for about 3 hours to be one of about 30 people that had a shot at buying beer tickets at the door. I was in about position 6. Beer fest is awesome. 25 thousand gallons of beer flowing and you can have as many 1 ounce samples as you can manage before being escorted out of the building. It was freakin' awsome. We managed to be near the front of the line when they opened the doors to the 40 thousand people waiting to drink some beer and this was the scene....



People were literally running as fast as they could up those stairs to get to the beer. It was crazy!!! Since I had the three hour line experience, I was able to pick up some tips from my line mates about how to do beer fest. First, I was instructed to make a necklace out of pretzels. There aren't a lot of food opportunities at beer fest and if you really want to make the most of your time, you're gonna want to have portable carbs ready to soak the beer up. It's also a good mouth cleanse for the occasional funk beer.




More good advice....get to the Sam Adams booth early. At 50 proof and 100 bucks a bottle, they don't bring much of their Utopia beer. It was good to me. It tasted a lot like a port wine...in fact, it tasted a lot like a 5 dollar bottle of port I like to drink, so there you go. It made Laura want to throw up.....more for me...

The last piece of information, I had to gather on my own. Beer fest is about 4 to 1 boys to girls.....now normally for a lesbian you would think that's a bad thing, but actually it rocks. There were port-a-potties and lines for the men's bathroom's for miles and guys just standing in line, but for the girls....it was in and out.....no real backup's in the bathroom area.





We even had a cheerleader at one point shouting DROP DRIP AND WIPE GIRLS!!!. Beer Fest rocks for girls.....

Lord of the dance carpet golf....

True to my scottish apache roots,  when the hurricane was hitting the panhandle I loaded up the fam and we went to hit the sticks a little.  It was good wet fun....




It's a good thing we still liqoured from dinner....

At the beach this week.....

....there's a hurricane coming, but that doesn't stop the party.

P'cola Pride 2007...

I guess the gay male penis story I posted didn't appease some appetites.  Keep in mind that getting girls to take their shirts off for Mr. Boston's vodka, while infinitely entertaining, is ill suited for public display.  I offer for the time being the following "family friendly" photo's.....

Gotta get out of bed and grab a hammer and a nail....

It still requires a bit of imagination, but I am starting to be able to picture a house sitting here =)

Sube, What did you DOoooo?

a napping Sube...

BUDDY BASS 2007


I fished in my first bass tournament last weekend, and I have to tell you.  I am totally hooked.  It was very scary to get there before the sun comes up and put the boat in and all the other boats you see are dark except for their equipment.  And that is pretty posh.  I'm talkin' big color displays, fancy big boats, the hum of 250 HP motors. It's definitely intimidating.....but thrilling.....


We were in Eufuala, Alabama.  It's a groovie lake.   It was a Sat, but it wasn't the usual fast boat and jet ski crowd.  It's only about an hour south of where I live, but it totally feels like you are in Florida.  Maybe it's the wildlife....


Yeah....they are totally everywhere.  In your head you are thinking about that scene in Faces of Death where the report guy gets eatin' up, but after a while you just have to ignore them....and pray they ignore you.  It does sorta turn fishing into an extreme sport however when every time the boat rocks from the wake of another angler you catch yourself dropping down to the floor.  I gave Rusty the disclaimer that should he fall in, I would probably snap a picture, crank up, and get the hell away.  The gators pop in and out of the water all around the boat, the whole time you are fishing.  Once I was sitting with my feet on the side so I could get some sun on my pale little kickers, and then quickly became aware of my toes dangling out like a snack when I saw just a pair of eyes staring out of the water at me.


If you can forget about your own mortality for just a while, it is actually a very beautiful place to spend some time with nature. We got our spot on the lake that we scoped out from Monday at about 6 in the morning and we could see bait fish jumping in the water and in the grass.  I was throwing a spinner bait and Rusty had a chatter bait.  Our spot had a fisher on the point and three boats fishing for brim on the other side so we only had about a 75 yard area to work the boat in.  We just went back and forth in that area for about 3 hours.


The water was about 72 degrees, and mostly clear.  I caught 5 big bass and one very big toothy thing that neither of us would touch and we threw back with pliers (a grenlin??). Now of those 5 bass, two actually made it in the boat.  Both of them were about 3 pounds each.  My buddy Rusty caught one that also a 3 pounder and 2 that weren't long enough to weight in. 


So I had two in the live well and Rusty had one.   While I was fishing I could feel one of my bass hitting the top of the live well and once when we checked the aerator, this bass tried to jump out on us.  When we were getting the fish into the bag to go to weigh in, it jumped out of the boat....right there at the dock....we call that fish "Amistad".  But still we did better than a lot of people we know.....in fact a lot of people had NO fish.....  I think a lot of people we shocked that we had big fish.  Everything we caught was between3-3.5 pounds.  So we would have had about 10 pounds....as it ended up we had 6.5.  Not bad for the novices anglers =)