To my children on Valentines day...

I've been trying to think about what I can share with you about love this Valentines day. I tell you that I love you, I tell Mama that I love her, but it's not often that we reflect on just how important love is. The most significant things in your life will hinge on love my children. My love for you is without condition, you didn't earn it, you can't lose it and I'll never run out of it for you. I know you love me and it's one of the most incredible feelings I've ever known. Our Father in heaven loves us this way and when we accept and acknowledge that love it has a profound impact our lives. So more important than where you live, or what job you have, or how well you do in school, I believe that who and how you love will shape the tone of your life. I want such great things for you both. I know that I will probably be critical of your choice of mate and I promise you that I know this about myself and I pledge to make every effort to rise above it. Hold me to that. Here's what I know about finding love....it's not much, it's probably not right, and I'm telling you now that you're results may vary. One day you'll meet someone and just the thought of that person will make a queer little flutter in your tummy. That feeling isn't love, but it's very special...it's something you need to protect. Some people think it's love and they jump all ahead of themselves because they believe that if a little of something is good, a lot of something will be amazing. That little feeling means that you need to notice a person...you need to find out more about them...and sometimes you'll find they aren't worth your time and sometimes you'll swear its love and three months or six months will go by and you'll think how could I have been so stupid? You're not stupid...we aren't born knowing how to choose a mate anymore than we are born knowing how to drive a car. You need practice so make sure you get some. Once you know what you need to know to make the right decision (and it took me more than 25 years to begin to understand it ) trust yourself...trust your ability to know when you are in love and don't confuse the physical with the mental...love isn't something you do with your body. I want to tell you to never do anything physical until you marry and make no mistake, that is God's plan for us, but I am not in this world with my eyes closed. Ultimately each of us is responsible for our own bodies and I am trusting you will have enough respect for yours to make good decisions. What that little flutter is, it's passion...and when you fall it love, I want it to be with passion. I want it to be with a passion that you've reserved exclusively for your mate. I believe that when love, level headed choices and passion all come together in the selection of a single individual and you commit yourself to that, you will have the best possible chance for marital happiness. There are no guarantees. You may do your part just exactly perfect, but there are two people in a marriage and if you don't choose someone who has basically taken the same care to select you that I am suggesting you take to choose them, it can end badly. Marriage is not an easy thing, but it is the most rewarding thing I've known in my life. Passion comes and goes, ebbs and flows, but creating a strong foundation of love, history, and commitment will carry you though those fluctuations. I don't know that your Mama and I will always demonstrate these principles to you with our own marriage, but it's our goal children...in our imperfection it is my hope that you'll see our striving...



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