On being your mom...

Being a mom doesn't come naturally to me. I adore your sister...I adore you already, adoring is something I can do well. The mothering part...that's a struggle for me. I don't think that makes me a bad mom, but it does feel like I have to work at it harder than some. Since I was a very small girl I imagined my babies and I knew that I wanted very much to be a mother. Everything else about my adult life was a bit of a blur. I didn't know if I would marry a man, I didn't know if I would stay home and raise my baby like my mother did. I am still reminded everyday that I don't have a clue what I am doing. You will learn very early in your life that sometimes you just need to fake something long enough and eventually, maybe before you even realize it, you won't be faking it anymore. A beautiful thing I know about your mama is that she has a magical ability to make anyone around her believe that they aren't faking at all. When I met your mother, I started to believe all sorts of things about myself that she somehow made come true. I pretty much knew the minute I met her that this sorta power was something I should harness and tuck away for my future family. You're welcome by the way.