An open Ramble from a Rest in Peace....

When my brother and his wife gave birth to a daughter with downs syndrome I remember my immediate reaction was that I felt sorry for them. That was my first thought, but like most of my first thoughts, it's not the one that sits with me now.   I thought about my brother, his wife and what I know about their character and it occurred to me that my niece is "fearfully and wonderfully made"  (Psalm 139:14) just like me.  She is exactly the way God intends for her to be and my lack of understanding doesn't negate her purpose.  I don't know why this child was selected for them, but I have come to believe that God has given them a great gift that he has entrusted them with a task that maybe not just anyone could perform with as much love and diligence.  Now that I have children, I don't know what challenges God will entrust with me.  I don't want to know actually.  I believe these are the children I am meant to have and that God will give me the character and skill to bring to his challenges.  I bring this up because I am thinking about the difficulties we all have in life and how isolating those difficulties can make us feel.  I can't pretend to understand why some us walk an easier path than others seemingly.  I don't even know if my own path is headed for disaster that I can't yet comprehend and I certainly don't know enough about myself to say with any certainty how I would weather.  I struggle with my faith, I struggle with obedience, I have many character flaws, but one thing I think I know about myself is that I do feel a Christ like love for any one I can think of that God has put in my life. I don't like every thing about every person I've ever met, but I do love you....I don't feel like a hypocrite when I say that so I think I can trust that feeling.  I want to be in Heaven one day and I want very much for us all to be there together.  I think what I put out to the world about myself shows a beautiful picture of my life, my family, my blessings.   If all you ever saw was what I make available you might feel isolated in your own struggles and it's not my intend.   I never think to grab my Nikon when I am arguing with my wife about our different parenting ideas (she'd quit me if I did...),  I don't get on facebook and post about my financial fears, and I haven't invited my broad group of friends into my personal battles with my own inner demons, but I don't want for one minute for my rose colored persona to give you the false impression that you are alone if your life doesn't look like my pictures.  I'm not the most emphatic person and when I don't know to do, I don't do anything and that has rarely worked out the way I wanted, but if I know you....if you are reading this....if you feel alone....you are not.  I love you and I want you to stay around and see that it gets better.  I've seen it work out that way....      (RIP M.S.)